Episode 7 Hart to Hart

Season Two

Episode 4

Murder is a Man’s Best Friend

Join Wil and Mikey for what might be the most polarizing episode of anything that has ever happened IN THIS WORLD’S ENTIRE HISTORY (yeah, I stole the text from last time. Sue me.) Will Hart to Hart get the axe like so many shows before it? Tune in to find out!

Tune in to find out.

Link to iTunes subscription: CLICK HERE

Check out Wil’s personal podcast RADIO FREE BURRITO

And here’s the newest episodes of Movies With Mikey: Fave 5 of 2015, and my Star Wars Special:


And episodes 3 and 4 of Mikey, Kris Straub, and Molly Lewis’s The Legend of Sleepy Hollow animated adaptation (That’s hilarious. Check this shit out!)

17 thoughts on “Episode 7 Hart to Hart”

  1. Hart to Hart is on YouTube. Seasons 1, 3, 4 and 5 are available. Season 2 was deleted for infringement I suppose.
    Here’s my fanfic: same show but now they’re a gay couple. Oops, that’s real.

  2. This is my new favorite episode. I didn’t know I needed you guys to disagree about a show until it happened.

    All I know is driving on drugs feels better when they’re prescription (all I know is the world looks beautiful, the world looks so damn beautiful)

    But seriously, don’t drive when you’re on Dog Heroin. I’m sure there was a Very Special Episode where Mrs. Hart-to-Hart receives the terrible news that Friend #3 wrapped himself around a telephone pole with a sincere and dramatic “Oh. OK.”

  3. I am here to report Cop Rock: The Complete TV Series is coming out on DVD. That is all.

    (Oh also, I am not a fan of when you do the sound effect to make squeaky valley-girl voice. And you’ve gone WAY too heavy on the sound library in general anyway. But still good show!)

  4. Guys, I have my fan fiction all ready but can’t find any email address to send to!! Help, please……my story is craptacular!

  5. Mikey & Will
    First off, love the show! Absolutely hilarious! I’ve watched every episode of craptastic 80’s & 90’s TV you’ve spotlighted aand can’t believe I’ll never get that time back.
    When I heard you mention the Hart to Hart fan fiction contest I just had to throw my hat in the ring! I hope you find as shitty as a real episode.

    Keep up the good work men,
    Mike Lelinski

    Jonathan Hart awoke in his opulent bedroom, sun streaming through the huge French doors. He rolled over to kiss his wife, Jennifer, and found she wasn’t there. Jonathan rose and found, folded at the end of the bed, a pair of exquisite white silk pajamas. A note laid on top said “These arrived this morning, come down to breakfast, Jen”
    Jonathan slipped into the pajamas, went to the closet and chose from one of massive collection of terry cloth bath robes, and headed downstairs. “God, it’s wonderful to be wealthy!” he thought as ambled toward the kitchen, and the smell of eggs benedict, prepared by their hired domestic, Max.
    “Good morning Jennifer” Jonathan said to his stunning wife, whom he noticed was wearing the same white silk pajamas. “What’s with the jammies?” He asked.
    “Good morning darling, the new luxury pajama company you purchased last week, don’t you remember?” Jennifer was buttering her muffin as Jonathan took a seat. “Probably trying to get in the new bosses good graces.”
    “Oh, yes….the company I bought because their jammies were selling for $500 a pair. I thought it was a good investment, that I could fill our overflowing coffers with even more cash.” Jonathan stated, looking a little perturbed. “Well something is amiss darling, look!” Jonathan pulled back the front of his pajamas to reveal his chisled hairy chest. Underneath the cornsilk smooth hair an ugly red rash was growing. “You know how sensitive my wealthy body is to lower class working people clothes! This can’t be genuine imported Japanese silk…..it’s a cheap synthetic!” Jonathan took a swig of Kona coffee, and made his way toward the door. “C’mon darling, my mannie-petty isn’t till four, we’re heading over to the factory to look into this.” As they left the kitchen, he said to Max “Max, you and the maid feel free to finish our breakfast, and don’t forget to make a filet mignon for Freeway.”
    As the door closed, Max mumbled under his breath in his craggy voice “As soon as you leave I’m gonna fuck the maid in your bed, kick the dog, and giggle my ass off you nouveau riche fuck!”
    The Harts entered the outer office of the luxury pajama company, and Jonathan went straight for the file cabinet. The young secretary started to protest, but Jennifer put up a hand and said “Shut it, you minimum wage tart, we’re the new owners, and amatuer detectives!” It Jonathan only moments to find the evidence he needed. He took the file and headed into Mr. Nuttings office, the president of the company.
    “The jig is up Nutting! I know you’ve been hoarding cash by substituting cheap synthetic thread for real silk!”
    Nutting rose, pulling a gun from his desk drawer. “Ah Mr. Hart, you’ve discovered my plan to bring about the rise of the fourth reich! Now I’ll have to eliminate you two!”
    Jennifer screamed “Look out!” And threw her heavy diamond hair clip at Nutting.
    It was just enough of a distraction for Jonathan to slip off his fine Italian loafer and chuck it at Nutting. The heel struck him square in the forehead, and he crumpled to the floor lik a cheap JC Penny suit. Jonathan grabbed the gun and looked down at Nutting and said “Take that you bourgeoisie nazi bastard!”
    The Harts went home and made love in REAL silk sheets!

  6. Great show guys, love the way you dissect every episode. It’s more than a laugh a minute.

    How about a review of Battlestar Galactica 1980. I really like the original series, but this sequel really stinks. It’s almost as bad as Highlander 2 was as a sequel to the first Highlander movie.

  7. Enjoying the show. For a show suggestion, how about Night Court? Growing up, this was a weekly event for my family. I have fond memories of Judge Harry Stone and the gang and went so far as to suggest to my 7th grade band director that the jazz band should play the Night Court theme. I can’t imagine the crimes are as egregious as with some of the shows you’ve done so, but there is no way it is innocent either. Episodes I vaguely recall that may be worth visiting – something about a blizzard where everybody has to stay in the courtroom over night or one of the episodes with Brent Spiner.

    1. I vaguely remember some episodes of Night Court that deserve the TV Crimes treatment: from the mere fact that Yakov Smirnoff had bit parts every now and then, to the series finale which included either Bull being abducted by aliens or being an alien all along?

      And I could swear that there was an episode with a talking computer that may or may not have been sentient and/or a horndog?

      Full disclosure: when I was five I took a pair of scissors to my hair because I wanted to look like Bull.

  8. I remember thinking this show was a bit corny. Indeed, it’s not for thinkers, but it is mindless entertainment.

    In the season one titles, Max said, “their hobby is murder,” which always made it sound like they were actually murdering people. Someone eventually caught on, I guess, and they changed it to “when they met, it was murder.”

    Robert Wagner is always so suave. It was great to see him flip out a bit in “Austin Powers.”

    “2 Harts” seems like it should be Doctor Who’s license plate.

    I love how TV characters have jobs, but they also solve crimes on the side. With someone like Quincy, it’s understandable, since he was medical examiner and what he discovered can be used in court. But… she’s a writer who solves crimes, they’re millionaires who solve crimes and (my personal favorite) he’s a magician who solves crimes. Now, to be honest, when The Magician was on the air, I was little and I thought he was just the coolest guy ever.

  9. “Did Fellini have to deal with this”

    Fellini’s most famous movie 8 1/2 is all about a director trying to avoid the all the nonsense of director.

  10. When Tom put on the afterschool special music halfway in, I thought I recognised it and started to ‘sing along’….

    When the road gets daaaaark
    And youuuuu can no-longer seeeee
    Jus’ let my love throw a spaaark
    An’ have a li’l faith in me-hee

  11. Wil’s impression of Max with the Hanna-Barbera sound effects is my new favorite podcast moment of all time.

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